UNDERSTANDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN PARENT AND CHILD
The kind of relationship that exists between individuals and their parents vary from person to person. Families all over the world have different ways of reacting to situations and addressing issues respectively.
They all have a different approach. However, there is also a time where the relationship between parents and a child cannot be described as different but toxic.
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According to a psychotherapist in New York City known as Matt Lundquist, LCSW, a toxic relationship comes to the fore where abuse which could be sexual, verbal, emotional or physical becomes a norm and is not curbed.
He noted that although the toxic relationships result in high conflict, it doesn’t always end badly. He also pointed out that good times don’t necessarily make a relationship healthy.
The toxic relationship starts manifesting between parents and children once parents begin to toe the line of self-interest in major actions and decisions.
It must be noted that any parent who is insensitive or lacks the emotional capacity to identify a child’s needs is ultimately a toxic parent.
Meanwhile, Psychology Today also outlined some actions that are associated with toxic parents, namely: Incessant criticism of the child, always being dramatic and reacting way over the top to issues, controlling the child’s choices, as well as manipulating the child to do what the parents want.
These parental behaviors may come off as subtle or wild. However, they are indications of a parent’s lack of respect for the needs of the child.
In the natural sense, children who become exposed to such behavior while they are very young will develop the tendency to recognize the behavior and get used to it and accept it as normal.
However, as they begin to grow older, they’ll then begin to discover that the actions and behaviors are not healthy and this is where the toxicity in the relationship begins to creep in.
Lundquist further added that some signs of toxic child-parent relationships could see parents stealing from their adult children such as securing loans in their names, thus creating some problems that would then require the adult child to proffer a solution.
He added that it will be difficult for the subject to be effectively tackled by the adult with a parent if he or she believes that the relationship between them is toxic.
A possible solution to this could be to appeal to the parents’ sense of reasoning and ask them to change. This will definitely be challenging but the services of a therapist can be called for to enable an establishment of boundaries between parent and child.
